#Timmy

I used to be called Timmy. Nowadays, I'm called anything that gets my attention (and I'm shamefully, pathetically attentive), usually something like 'pussy', 'cunt', or 'whore', but occasionally I do still get 'Timmy'. Often this is a sign that something really hard is coming—that I'm going to be asked for my consent to something further, some step further away from the fantasy that I could ever mean anything. Some step that will be agony to take, but which both I and whoever it is asking for it know that I will be helpless to resist. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 39 minutes; 8200 words

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Now though, the experience of having been so comprehensively, selfishly and thoroughly used and abused by Karsh, of cooking for Karsh, all but naked, my ass alternately swatted and fondled at will, of being offered to Ninotsch like a party favour, all this had changed things. I knew, now, as a bodily experience, what it was to be in someone's power, to serve because you have no option, to be consumed by the need to serve well, to satisfy, from a place of subjugation, rather than from self-motivation - and what it was like not to be in a position to trust your own judgement - when a capricious master is the only judge that matters. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 31 minutes; 6600 words

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The worst thing about it was that I was so frightened. Not 'run away' frightened, but 'can I survive this?' frightened. This was it. Nothing now lay between me and the uncompromising focused willpower of this greedy powerhouse of a man—a man I had somehow given myself over to on the basis of a few days contact and some extraordinarily abusive sex. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 37 minutes; 7800 words

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Karsh tells her how it will be; 'You must understand that you are completely irrelevant to anything important—a fanciful entertainment, nothing more. The moment you cease to be entertaining, you will be disposed of. If you wish to be kept, commit yourself to my satisfaction, with your whole being. I am relentlessly greedy. There will be no room for anything else but dedication to my pleasure in your existence. Go over this advice in your head, commit it to memory; repeat it to yourself, for I will not rehearse or explain it for you. Let it become your creed; live by it.' [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 43 minutes; 9100 words

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