Slowly, very slowly, it dawned on her that she needed to know; needed to know what being hurt and shamed at Duncan's kind and gentle hands might be like. She *had* to know. Letting him do as he wished with her, playing her part as best she could, with as much seriousness and control as she could find in her, was necessary, too, if she was to discover what she could about this experience. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 18 minutes; 3900 words.

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Even though she had not felt it at the time, it was clear to her later, that that had been the moment, when she had known herself in the presence of a being in comparison to whom she was just a toy; for whom she had the great honour of being interesting as a toy, and that every sacrifice was worth it to retain that interest. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes; 3200 words.

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The knowledge burned in her that she was naked for Him; that He had asked it of her, without insisting or ordering, that she had stripped for Him, that He was now looking at her body, very directly, very openly; something — she realised with soft amazement— that she had never had a man do before. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 21 minutes; 4400 words.

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All that matters is that they own me, and that they are ruthless and cruel. I must please them, as best I can. And in order to please them, I'm going to have to become the willing and eager sex toy they require. Anything else will mean the tank, or worse. It's there in me— I know it is— the capacity to give myself over to sexual depravity; to forget everything but sex. Sex and pain and fear. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes; 2700 words.

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She was not happy, she was not sad; those concepts had no purchase. She had no choices; everything that happened to her was ordained. She could not move unless controlled to do so. All she could do was breathe; nothing she thought or did made the slightest difference to what happened to her, save for her offering herself into the cruelties which were the only remission from the tank. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes; 3000 words.

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All is distant; it is happening, but to some frozen thing, some failed person, some pathetic tragedy, and she cannot but recognise the truth of Anne-Marie's words, that there is in her body a deep welcome for the warmth her violators are providing as they defile her. None of it matters, in any case, for she is powerless, meaningless, trussed. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes; 2600 words.

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Her tears stopped; she was His, Once again, the unquestioning way in which his desires were inflicted upon Odile calmed her, made everything meaningful; she had only to lean in to this careless domination of her body by His proxies to lose herself, to put her own petty concerns into perspective; see herself for the weakling she was, effortlessly dominated by His will, even in His absence. It wasn't safety, but it was Him in charge, and it was a deep relief to let herself be controlled. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes; 3100 words.

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It was bitter, and hard, and twisting in her, but it seemed the time for even token resistance was past, as the certainty, the inevitability of this defeat, this tragedy built itself into her; as she worked to make herself understand that this was an inevitable part of her submission, and Odile was trembling with it. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes; 2400 words.

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She was nothing, and she would be tightly, claustrophobically controlled, and she would shamed in public, and violently raped, and made to experience intensity; sexual, despairing, agonising, humiliating, suffocating intensity. And one day, one day, perhaps, it would destroy her, as He had told her, but it would be worth it, for occasional moments like those. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes; 2900 words.

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Nothing mattered but Him; in His presence— even His servant's presence— she was nothing; nothing but need, and vulnerability. She was on a knife edge; would always be on a knife edge, must always offer herself to that knife edge— between being discarded, and being abused. [Read More]

Estimated reading time: 20 minutes; 4200 words.

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