Estimated reading time: 19 minutes; 3900 words
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Oh God I’m whoring myself to a stranger who I know nothing about, whose face I don’t even remember from the last time he raped me! And it just feels like a machine now; I’m in it, and it’s happening, and I just have to go along with it or get mangledโ even though it is going to mangle me anyway. Oh fuck I’m going to ask him to rape me again and I want to; I want him to!
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Prilly's Journey Pt. 12a
Prilly wakes to a new reality that is at once tremulously exhilarating and deeply tragic, and knows herself to be powerless in the face of it. She recalls the events of the previous evening. This episode will have two parts.
A creature which lives to be fucked. No, raped, since consent is never sought, nor relevant, when it gets fucked, since it has already consented to everything, even that which it cannot accept and finds itself fighting against, has still been consented to. Defeat is inevitable, violation is inevitable. Brutality is inevitable. Desirable. Deserved. Appropriate; beautiful, even.
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Estimated reading time: 16 minutes; 3500 words
CommentsPrilly's Journey Pt. 12b
Prilly is forced to accept that her response to the whip goes much, much deeper and darker than pain or fear.
Maria is going to make sure I go down, and she is as cruel as LeStrade, but I can’t help being thankful to her for guiding me so firmly, for understanding me so much better than I do myself. It’s crazy, but I feel as if being in her hands will keep me safeโ safe!โ as she helps LeStrade destroy me.
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Estimated reading time: 12 minutes; 2500 words
CommentsPrilly's Journey Pt. 12c
Prilly is taken to the place where she can ask to be whipped between the legs, and then further.
He had pressed her hard, delivering such a harsh beating so soon; he was confident enough that she was building a neat little mental and emotional trap for herself to let her find her own way toward the inevitable truth of her total defeat.
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Estimated reading time: 15 minutes; 3200 words
CommentsPrilly's Journey Pt. 12d
Prilly is made to understand the depth of her vulnerability, the cheapness of her life from LeStrade's point of view, the depth of her entrapment, through a measured and debilitating series of water tortures.
Up. Up now pretty; we will do it again, and you will let it happen; and then maybe again, until you know it in your bonesโฆ And they did, and, the third time they were at the plunge pool, Prilly by then only tenuously holding on to any notion of who she was, of anything but the seconds she was living through, when Maria told her to throw herself in, head first, told her that she would be held down for longer than before, Prilly sobbed in fear, but made no argument, and took only a few long seconds before she complied.
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Estimated reading time: 17 minutes; 3600 words
CommentsPrilly's Journey Pt. 12e
Prilly, in the cool of the morning, remembers the intensity and calculated cruelty of the climax of the evening, and has some difficult accepting to doโฆ
Alone, in the early light, she had worked on herself, worked to make the impossible, the unacceptable, the appalling, to make all acceptable. Because really, there was nowhere else that she wanted to go now. And if she is to stay here, this must become her ’normal'.
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Estimated reading time: 24 minutes; 5100 words
CommentsPrilly's Journey Pt. 13
Maria watches Prilly break, then doubles down. Prilly is introduced to the nail heels, and the crotch chain.
Prilly closed her eyes and let herself go with a low, almost inaudible moaning sigh โฆ and โฆ and โฆ andโ she was still there, still with a tiny, small Prilly, still in her head. And a minute later, two, she was, still, there. She had met her strength. It was small, it had lost everything, it hoped for nothing. But it endured. It was almost a disappointment. A large part of her had, it seemed, been looking forward to being utterly lost, being gone cpmpletely.
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Estimated reading time: 16 minutes; 3400 words
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